“Allegiant” Review

allegiantAllegiant is directed by Robert Schwentke and stars Shailene Woodley, Theo James, Jeff Daniels, and Miles Teller. This is the third in the ever-depleting book-to-film Divergent series and is about Tris (Woodley) and friends escaping the wall surrounding Chicago to find that there is a higher up group that is controlling the city she used to live in.

This was a movie I did not expect much from coming in. The Divergent movies have never been able to separate themselves from the pack of young adult book-to-film movies, leading them to come off as copiers. The past two hovered around average in quality, but this one, my goodness did they really crap the bed with this one.

The only major positive from this movie is Miles Teller. Teller is able to out-act this terrible script to bring some enjoyment every time he is on screen. He is the only character who made me laugh, and the laughter was intentional, so credit to Teller for making this mess a little less unbearable.

I also didn’t mind the havoc that is created inside of Chicago due to the overthrow of the government from Insurgent. Besides that, this movie is a barren wasteland caused by a lack of effort and a lack of wanting to make this movie.

Every actor in this film feels trapped in this contract they are forced to be in, and that is most obvious with Woodley. She was the only beam of light from Insurgent, and she single-handedly lifted that movie from being awful. In Allegiant, it appears she is just bored out of her mind playing Tris, giving little to no emotion and just reading the lines as if she is forced to. She is the only one who is noticeably done with this series, but Theo James, Ansel Egort, and even veterans like Naomi Watts and Jeff Daniels are all average at best, not being able to lift this movie anywhere higher due to its terrible script.

The plot at its most basic is not all that bad, but the side stories and events that occur within that big picture are downright stupid. While some ideas are creative, the follow through of these ideas on the big screen do not work well. Whether it be these ridiculous-looking orange blobs that allow Tris and friends to float or this council we see for a good sixty seconds, there are creative ideas, but never are they used to their potential.

When this movie doesn’t have creative ideas, however, it just feels as if it’s ripping off Hunger Games and Maze Runner, again. I know it’s based on a book series, but I don’t care, some things feel way too similar to movies I have seen just last year.

There’re two sides to Allegiant: one that is so bad it made me laugh, and one that is so boring that I felt myself dozing off. The orange blobs and weird future gadgets fall into the first one, but way too much of the movie feels as if it’s running in place. Things happen, ideas are said, and then it’s back to doing nothing again, and the middle of this movie feels like it’s about 90 percent of the runtime.

While the end isn’t good, it’s actually quite stupid, at least it’s fast, which cannot be said about the snooze fest of a second act. What I really hated about this movie more than anything is just how lazy it is. The actors are just going through the motions, the direction and script are boring and dull, and the plot is a big heaping mess. The fact that there is still one more of these things makes it three too many, as, after the first Divergent, the actors began to lose interest. Now, it is just sad to watch these talented actors do their best to look dead on camera, and it is not fun for them or us to watch. Also, just one thing about the conclusion, gas doesn’t just sit on the ground, it rises, idiots.

Overall, Allegiant is certainly the worst young adult book-to-film adaptation to date, yes, even worse than the Twilight movies. The acting is wooden, aside from Teller, the plot is a sloppy pile of crap, and there is no fun to be had for the cast or the audience, as the overlong runtime and ridiculously long gaps of nothingness make sure that you will be doing much more yawning than cheering by the end of this thing.

Here’s how I look at the Divergent series thus far. Divergent is a fish in a shallow, crowded pond. It’s coming into waters that are already packed full (Hunger Games, Twilight, Maze Runner) and if it isn’t careful, it may cause the pond to dry up. Insurgent is a fish-out-of-water just flopping on the ground for dear life. It has the minimal amount of life left to continue to flop around and maybe, just maybe get back into the water. Allegiant is just a dead, lifeless, sad fucking fish lying on the ground. No one wants to see it, and no one certainly wants to see what comes after it has been on the ground a few days. So please, just throw this fish away, this series does not need a conclusion, because Allegiant kills any last hopes this franchise has.badge-2

What did you think of Allegiant? Comment below with what you think.

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